c-resistance-with-an-elderly-loved-one-love-right-home-care-e1423618234120We all have seen it. The elderly who refuses to give up driving, or refuses to bath or see the doctor. Takes their medication and then spits it out when you were not looking and you find them hidden in a drawer. Refusing to eat. They tells you over the phone all is fine and you find out they have been falling.  Maybe there is no food in the house, or worse.

Ever been accused of stealing? Been threatened or even physically hit?

One can not help but to take these threats personally.These are not uncommon acts of elderly who are feeling at a loss of control over their lives.

They feel threatened and you, the caregiver, are directly in their line of fire.

You are not alone. Many have been shut out, had to deal with role reversal, and lost the feeling of being the loving caregiver because you now feel you can not do anything right in the eyes of your elderly loved one. Perhaps now you even resent the role, finding one Elderly Loved One - You Are Not Alone - Love Right Home Careself saying, ” I don’t have to do this?  I deserve better than this!  I didn’t sign up for this!”

Soliciting help is a good start. Try to find others to share in the tasks of everyday caregiving. Do not feel obligated to do it all on your own.  Seek out professional help such as an MD to take the car keys away.  A possible Psychiatric visit could start the client on medication to help calm them, become less paranoid. And Gerontologists are health care professionals who specialize in the field of aging and elderly related dimensions of change over a lifespan. They provide their services to people in hospitals, nursing homes, senior citizen centers, and the  elderly community. And they can help as they also specialize in an understanding of how various medications react in the elderly. Medications which worked one way years ago may not work the same as the body functions age.
Seek out a caregiver support group or organization for caregivers so you can share in the frustrations and hear how others dealt with similar situations. When someone offers help, start accepting it!
Get help from other family members , church groups, friends and neighbors.The burnout is incredibly high and if you are not there to help, who will be? And what will become of the one needing help?
Look into respite care through hiring caregiver help and taking some time off or placing a client in a temporary out of home setting. Try a few hours to start to a full day, then a week end or possibly a week or more. There are plenty of reputable agencies available to provide this much needed respite.
Remember, you are not alone.